Sometimes our connections with others merely skim the surface. We can joke and laugh, and have a good time while merely speaking about superficial issues. But who can we feel safe with to share our deeper wants and desires? Sometimes this lack of intimate social connections creates more of a disconnect. We may be surrounded by family and friends and still feel emotionally lonely.

More knowledge has been coming out in the open about reality distortion (aka gaslighting). This is a classic technique that has been used for centuries, especially by individuals with narcissistic personality traits, to convince people that “what they see is not what they get.” Generally, this serves to confuse the individual’s perception of reality, and to allow the perpetrator to wriggle off the hook, squeaky clean.

Keeping in mind a gentle but firm style of assertiveness, while holding true to your principles for respectful interactions and behaviors, can create a long lasting pattern of healthy and impactful communication in relationships.

When an individual discovers they are being manipulated, or when they recognize the signs of manipulation at play, it is very wise to be strategic when confronting these behaviors.

In authentic, caring and reciprocal relationships, honesty is significant because, even when uncomfortable, it allows us to enter into the realm of deeper, trusting and more genuine connections with others.

This blog post was recently published to SacWellness. It is the classic tale of power struggles within a group of people, where one person takes on the role of the Victim, Hero, and Villian.

What is your relationship with authority figures in your life? How do you relate with others through a position of authority? And in what ways are you your own authority? Examining the origins of our own relationships with authority figures in throughout our lives can give us insight into how we step into our own power and positions of authority in relationship to others.

There are times when finding the voice to speak about our experiences can be extremely challenging and even painful. We may feel unheard, invalidated, or we may be trapped in an abusive environment or relationship that even shames our efforts to speak up. We can feel ostracized, marginalized, disempowered or trapped. It is so important, that even in these moments, we can realize that we are not alone. Support is around us, and sometimes we may struggle to make the effort to seek it out.

The concept of forgiveness carries a lot of weight. It has roots in cultural and religious foundations, as well as constructs in societies around the world. The notion that we, as human beings, are able to choose to forgive the wrongdoings of ourselves and others, demonstrates that we are capable of great compassion and understanding for the thoughts and views of the people in our lives, as well as on a more global scale.

Family life can be chaotic by nature. Finding ways to stay balanced (and sane), can prove to be extremely challenging sometimes. Families can learn to stay balanced through having some kind of organization in the midst of the chaos. A helpful way to regain some peace in the household is to create a structure that works for your family. Each family unit is different, and family members have different needs. So, a set of rules or organization that works for one family may not work for another. And that is okay. Find what works for your family’s specific needs.

Life circumstances can sometimes lead to suffering. This may be triggered by traumatic experiences, loss of loved ones, and through experiencing challenging and unforeseen events. When we can learn to accept a painful situation, rather than fight against it, we can free ourselves to move forward with our lives and end our suffering.

Self-harming is a form of maladaptive coping in response to challenging emotions. Self-harm may be triggered by suicidal thoughts, or it may be in response to emotional pain, or to feeling invalidated. Self-harm is often (although not always) separate from a suicide attempt. Sometimes self-harm is used as an attempt to “stop the pain” the individual is experiencing.

Boundaries create a line, either real or imaginary, where one (individual, object, place, or thing) ends and another begins. Between individuals, boundaries are observed in relation to each other. When individuals establish healthy boundaries in relationships, they learn to preserve their own needs and respect the needs of others.

Sometimes it can be hard to feel that we are in control of our life choices. When circumstances happen that are outside of our control, we may experience a feeling that we are trapped by external events. We may be experiencing significant changes or losses, and it can be hard to adapt to the situation. It is important to remember that we have the freedom to choose how we respond to these significant events in our lives. We have the power to alter our thoughts and behaviors in response to the situation.

Sometimes we get trapped in a perfectionistic way of thinking. “This is what I should be doing…if only I could do this (one thing) better…why does everyone else seem to be performing better than me?” We may compare and despair, assume that we are not good enough, or that somehow we “don’t measure up.” This can severely impact our self-esteem and feelings of self-worth.

It’s the time of year for change. Changing seasons welcome fresh starts, new beginnings, and opportunities for growth and productivity. It can also be a good time to reflect on the past. Reflection on past decisions, old patterns, and relationships allows room for integrating the parts we want to keep with us, and the parts we want to leave behind.

As a new parent, you are often pulled in many different directions. You are faced with many daily responsibilities, which can include working and other household tasks, and you spend a lot of time caring for your infant or other kids in the home. Anxiety and stress can mount quickly, compounded by a lack of sleep, changes in hormones (for moms), pumping or nursing, and balancing daily activities.

Anxiety can be intense, and can lead to ruminative thoughts, paralyzing fear, and even panic. It can trigger strong physical sensations, resembling a flight or fight response. Anxiety triggers are often unique for each individual. Some stressors may build, and cause anxiety. Perhaps there was a recent change, or major transition in your life.

Many of us struggle with our relationship to our bodies. We can often understand that they keep us alive, but it can be hard to fully appreciate and value their uniqueness. Perhaps this is because we are bombarded with societal images and pressures, or perhaps it is because we are living so much in our minds that we may even become disconnected from our bodies. We often don’t recognize the strength, beauty, and power that our body provides. It is literally our life force.