The people who struggle with traits and tendencies of narcissism the most have the hardest time recognizing that they themselves could be narcissistic. The problem lies in the high defenses that shield them from having a realistic view of their true selves. Instead, they manifest an inflated ego, or false self, which becomes an idealized version that masks the true self, hidden beneath the surface. And since people with narcissistic traits often believe they are “only good,” this is where the split happens. They see others as “only bad,” projecting their distortions onto others and the other thereby becomes the so-called “Narcissist.”

Ghosting is a power and control tactic that rebalances the autonomy in a relationship. Someone “ghosts” another person and suddenly they feel they have more freedom, room to breathe, and boundaries where they are not needing to respond to another person’s request at any given moment. There can be both benefits and also harmful impacts of ghosting.

Perhaps loving ourselves is the answer to everything. It is the cure for loneliness, for depression, for crippling anxiety. You see, if we love ourselves, we take our power back with our sense of compassion for ourselves. We are no longer at the mercy of an equally loved and feared Hallmark holiday. We are simply free to be who we are, and to love ourselves the way we are, unconditionally.

Many individuals are starting to recognize that they want healthier, full-filling, and less draining relationships. Classic or more traditional ways of relating are sometimes filled with a sense of obligation, guilt, or even dread. When the freedom of choice feels like it has been stripped away, people are often left feeling drained and emotionally burdened. The issue is, if we take care of ourselves, and set better boundaries in our relationships, they will feel more rewarding and less obligatory.

If we focus on goals and changes that we can manifest internally, we will create much longer lasting and sustainable change that will have a ripple effect on our lifestyle and habits. We can begin to feel better about ourselves by choosing intentions that are truly meaningful, and those intentions create an internal sense of purpose and value.

The Wizard of Oz is a classic tale of growing up, gaining independence, and finding your True Self. Dorothy is a young orphan, growing up on a farm where she feels out of place, unrecognized and misunderstood.

Sometimes we need to simply allow ourselves to “be.” What happens if we don’t try to change anything, we don’t try so hard to stay in control, and we just let ourselves sit with what is happening in the moment. Just to be present and process whatever is unfolding around us. To notice it, as if from a distance. Disengaged, unhooked, unreactionary. Just notice, and calmly take it in. What will happen then?

How do our ego defenses serve us? We all have them. But do they actually serve a purpose, or do they get in the way?

Barbie discovers that it is not so bad to be grounded in reality. That there is a wonderful aspect to the dark thoughts of the death, and the existential fears that every human eventually has to face. She may no longer be invincible or “perfect” but she is more real, more genuine, and more adaptable than she has ever been.

I often view emotional immaturity as existing on a spectrum or continuum. Very few people are full blown narcissistic or borderline personalities. Most people exist somewhere in between, in the shades of grey.

If we don’t expose our vulnerable core, we risk being rejected on the basis of appearing disingenuous or incongruent. Vulnerability in authentic expression is a risk, and one that not everyone feels they can handle. But if we push ourselves to share, to connect, and to grow in truthful communication with others, we can fulfill our desires for stronger, closer, and more intimate connections with the valuable people in our lives.

Is the rage that King Triton demonstrates any different from Ursula’s rage? They were both motivated by possessiveness, power and control.

When we recognize that we are slipping into the Gaslight Tango, we can learn to take control over our own behavior and response to extract us from the situation and minimize the impact of the abuse.

As a child, growing up with an emotionally immature parent can feel imbalanced. The relationship may revolve around the parent’s needs, emotions, or wants as opposed to what is in the best interest of the child.

In an emotionally immature family system, there is someone who often assumes the role of the Golden Child. This is the one who is “most special” or “apart from the rest” in the eyes of the parent, who tends to see the best (or “idealized”) traits in this child.

Positive leadership has the potential to inspire and motivate, to challenge, to create a lasting impact on others, in the community, and beyond. Positive leadership promotes strong moral and ethical values aligning with integrity of thought and action.

Healthy relationships value consistency. This means that healthy relationships are reciprocal in nature, without a power imbalance. Relationships that are consistent are reliable, responsive, and trustworthy. They make consistent efforts to show through their actions that they value the relationship they have with you.

We all get stuck in our habits. Behaviors that don’t serve us, harmful ways of coping, and unhealthy lifestyle patterns. We have the power to transform our lives. But it is easier to believe we don’t. So we don’t have to change our behaviors. Without accountability, we get stuck, and never have to grow and evolve.

Bullying behaviors can leave a lasting and devastating impact on mental health for pre-teens and teens who experience them. Bullying is generally considered any teasing, harassing, ostracizing or marginalization that occurs in a cultural context. When teens are constantly harassed and bullied, it can lead to an increase in low self-esteem, isolation and depression, and crisis behaviors such as self-harm and suicidality.

Many individuals express emotional immaturity in some capacity. It can be viewed on a spectrum, and not as a definitive or pejorative term. The terms “narcissist” and “borderline” often get overused to mis-label or categorize people who more accurately may be considered to be emotionally immature.