Back to School Refusal
Let’s face it, back to school is here and some kids simply do not want to go. Back to school is hard enough for families as we adjust from the slow pace of summer to the long grueling grind of the school day. Not to mention needing to wait for half an hour in line at the before and after school pick-up and drop-off. It is hard to readjust to the routine again, for both the kids and parents.
School refusal generally comes from a place of anxiety or overwhelm, including a difficulty with transitions. Some younger kids have separation anxiety, where they struggle with being away from the parent or home environment for extended periods of time. Other kids may struggle with overwhelm or social anxiety related to the school environment. And kids who have academic challenges, learning disabilities, or neurodivergence may struggle to fit into the highly structured routine of the school day.
Stress at school can come from peer conflicts, noisy crowded lunch rooms, or academic pressures of test taking and an ever-evolving advancement in the learning curriculum. Teachers often use the first couple of weeks to acquaint themselves with their new class, and to assess the interpersonal dynamics within the group. This transition period can be stressful for the teachers and students alike.
So, what do you do if your child is having challenges with going back to school? Here is where we can help.
Make the expectations for school attendance non-negotiable. Stay calm and do not engage in the struggle. Simply state that going to school is necessary and important, and it is not an option to stay home.
If your child absolutely cannot make it out the door, minimize stimulation in the home environment by removing electronics, games, and other activities for engagement. If your child is claiming to be sick, treat them as though they really are sick. This means resting, not leaving the house and disengaging from exciting activities.
Stay calm and do not get hooked into an argument. Arguments often loop back around to the person who started it. They are ultimately not productive. Instead of arguing, remain calm and neutral by simply stating they have to go to school, and it is not a choice.
Contact the school Wellness Center, or the school guidance counselor. The counselor is there to act as a liaison and support you with your child’s routine. Perhaps they have a solution to drop off your child with them or at the administrative office first thing in the morning. They can help ease the transition back to the school day.
Remember that it is common to have a child who refuses to go to school. It does not mean that you are a terrible parent, or that there is something wrong with your child (or the school for that matter). It does mean that you may want to compassionately figure out a way to resolve the issue by understanding the root cause. If the cause is something that can be addressed, seek help for the issue. Whether your child struggles with anxiety, peer relationships, sensory overload, or academic and learning difficulties, these are all issues that can be addressed in family or child counseling.
Contact us for a consultation today @ everyheartdreamscounseling.com
